Starts With Goodbye
by WithDropsofJupiterInHerHair
Summary: They've had their problems, but Sonny's been falling apart without him beside her. So what happens when he comes back? Because one of her wishes comes true, does that mean they all will? Chapters are much different from the preface. Previously 'What If'
1. Preface

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" _'Tis said of love that it sometimes goes,_

_sometimes flies; _

_runs with one,_

_walks gravely with another;_

_turns a third into ice, _

_and sets a fourth in a flame:_

_it wounds one, _

_another it kills:_

_like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment:_

_it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning;_

_for there is no force able to resist it. _" **~Miguel De Cervantes**

**.**

* * *

They look at me like I'm broken, like I should be taken somewhere that they could make me good as new. But none of them, not even one of them, understands that I _am_.

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_June 10th_, _2:17 PM_.

The moment that would repeat in my heart forever.

I watched him walk away.

_Left._

_Right._

_Left._

_Right_.

In my mind, I'd already run after him- and I was pulling him back to myself, holding him in my arms.

I was crying with all of my heart. I was kissing him with all of my love.

I was never letting him go.

_Left._

_Right._

_Left._

In reality, he was letting go forever.

_Turn._

And without another glance my way, he was gone.

Slipped away.

Evermore

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	2. Cry

THIS CHAPTER'S FEAUTURED SONG:

CRY - KELLY CLARKSON

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**Alright, so I think that I should get straight to telling you guys that I do not own SWAC. If I did, Sonny and Chad wouldn't be breaking up, and they would have kissed already ;D**

**I'd just like to give a quick 'Thank you' to my wonderful reviewers sonshine4ever and Geekquality for inspiring me to not let this idea fade away like others have- so here's to you two!**

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Whenever I feel,

Your memory is breaking my heart,

I'll pretend I'm okay with it all,

Act like there's nothing wrong.

**

* * *

**

"_Merry Christmas, Sonshine- I just wanted to call and be the first one to tell you Merry Christmas, but you didn't answer- I mean, what kind of person is sleeping at midnight the night before Christmas._" I gasped for air as a deep pain settled into my gut at the sound of his chuckle. "_Anyways, I can't wait to see you in the morning, when you'll probably get this message- I'll be by your house around nine to pick you up, so that should give you about an hour to get ready... you did say you were wearing red, right? Because I'm trying to pick out a tie... you know what- I think that I'll just bring a couple and I'll wear whichever one matches you the best... anyways- sweet dreams, Sonny. I lov-_" My breathing getting shakier by the second, I let out a breath of air as I jumped to slam the phone down on the bed, pressing the 'end' button as quickly as possible.

I couldn't do it- I couldn't hear those words. We had a show tonight- if those words were to reach my ears- they would stay with me all night, echoing and tearing me apart with every resound... From the corner of my eye, I would see him standing in the corner of the room, smiling at me- I'd look again, search for him, try to find his face again, yet not see him there because he wouldn't be there. Of course he wouldn't be there, standing in his spot right off stage watching me... Then the tears would come trailing paths across my cheeks, like the ones that were welling-up inside of my eyes right now soon would be.

Focusing in on the ceiling above me and blinking my eyes furiously, I tried to see anything but his face. The water building in my eyes blurring my surroundings and blinding me from the empty holes in the wall where nails used to hold picture frames full of us and our favorite moments. Trying to dry my eyes as quickly as possible, I listened closely to be sure that no one was near to see me like this. This wasn't the first time that I'd been this way- no, it surely wasn't... And now they look at me like I'm broken, like I should be taken somewhere that they could make me good as new. But none of them, not even one of them, understand that I _am_.

At that thought, the tears I'd been holding back broke free, comforting me with their cool, soft streams trailing gently across my face. With every drop that fell, it became harder for me to breathe normally. Pulling my pillow from behind me, I gently set in on my knees before nestling my face into it in an attempt to muffle the sobs threatening the ring out. Pulling my head up from the pillow, I gasped for air before going back down into the comforting cushion.

* * *

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

**

* * *

**

Stiffening, I sat perfectly still as I heard a creak echo through the room. Without a sound, I removed my face from the pillow and anxiously tilted my head to the door. The beautiful smile the blonde wore dropped as she took in my appearance. With a look of sorrow, she took a deep breath and walked towards me with open arms.

"Oh, not again, sweetie." She frowned and pulled me into a comforting hug- she'd gotten better at those since I first met her, especially over the past few months. "It's okay, it's okay." She murmured, listening to my sobs become slower and calmer.

She loosened her grip so that I could break free as I sat back up and began to wipe my cheeks with my sleeves. I watched as she looked distantly towards a corner of my room, then began to feel through her pockets, pulling out a palm-sized round object. Flipping it open, she began to run her fingers over her face, touching-up the blurred areas of her make-up and moving stray hairs that rested against her cheeks. Grimacing for a moment, I shooed away the thought of what I probably looked like right now.

"Sonny," she began, folding the compact and placing it back in her sweaters pocket. "You have to get ready, we need to meet at the studio for brunch this morning around ten..." I closed my eyes, suddenly remembering that we were having a big meeting today to discuss the holiday season special events that would take place this year. "It's..." she paused for a moment, looking down at her cell phone, "Eight forty-two right now. So, you need to get up and do something with that hair." She teased with a smile, I returned with the best grin I could muster, hoping that it didn't come-off as too forced. "Nico's going to be here in a few minutes to pick me up, we were going to go stop by a few places on the way there, is that alright?" I nodded, thinking how nice it would be to have the whole place to myself for a few hours- just silence with no interruptions- peace. "Alright, well I'm going to go finish getting ready." She smiled and patted my shoulder gently before turning to leave.

"Bye, Tawn." I said, my voice still a little froggy from the crying.

Slowly, I began to pick myself out of my bed and made my way towards my vanity. Carefully keeping my balance, I cautiously examined the floor and every step I took. My jaw dropped as I met my reflection, though I really should've be used to seeing myself like this by then.

Moving my arms around to make sure that the reflection was really me, I carefully picked-up a flattened curl of hair and watched as it dropped back into place. The rest of my hair was matted in various directions, looking _horrible_ even though I'd shampooed it only the day before. Rolling my eyes, I decided to simply ignore my impossible mess of hair for now. As I examined my face, my puffy eyes and the red patches that had spread across my cheeks. _This is going to take a while._

_

* * *

_

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

**

* * *

**

**So there it is! The first chapter, and we're off to a really slow start, I know- but there's more to come soon! I h****ave most of the next chapter planned- I'm so excited! This will be my first story with a soundtrack! I'll be posting the soundtrack somewhere in the future and giving you all the link to it! - please review and alert :)**


	3. If This Was A Movie

THIS CHAPTER'S FEAUTURED SONG:

IF THIS WAS A MOVIE - TAYLOR SWIFT

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**So, I know it's been forever since I updated this little story, but I've recently become inspired to pick-up where I left-off with this one. So, here goes the next chapter and my sad attempt to try to come up with a plot as the story evolves :)**

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**

I fiddled around with the glass of water sitting before me on my table, seemingly lost in thought, but not thinking at all. Actually I was caught up not-thinking, drowning in a vast nothingness- no memories, no pain, no journalists, no _anything_. I swirled my water around in my glass vacantly, watching as the ice became caught in the current of the whirlpool, then how it rose back to its original place fairly quickly as I stopped stirring. Finding this amusing, I began to stir the water again, this time deciding to follow a specific chip of ice's journey. Taking the straw back in my fingers, I- had my thigh tapped (_punched_) violently by a certain Miss Hart.

Turning away from my ice, slightly annoyed that she had brought me out of my trance, I looked up at Tawni, who was simply staring at me. After a few moments, I widened my eyes and subtly shrugged my shoulders as I gave her an expecting look, irritated that she had brought me out of my vacancy for nothing. Only when Mr. Condor began to talk again did I come to realize that the entire room had been silent.

"Miss Munroe," Mr. Condor called for my attention, "_Would you please sing us a song_." He used a tone as if her were exasperated, repeating something for the second time. Immediately after I realized that he was repeated something, I focused on his words and my heart began to race.

"I- _I-_" Stumbling for words, I tried to think of how I could word this so that I would be able to keep Mr. Condor in the holiday spirit that he was trying to maintain for the course of this meeting, concerning the winter holiday festivities and TV specials of Condor studios. "I'm not quite... prepared to-" I cleared my throat nervously, buying time. "To sing at the moment..." I paused, gauging the emptiness of the silence as a curse and immediately started with excuses, trying my hardest to keep on his good side, not to mention keep my job. "I- I haven't played in a while, I haven't prepared any music, and I've forgotten how to play any Christmas song accompaniments..." I trailed off as I caught a frightening look from Mr. Condor.

"_Now, _Miss Munroe!" He commanded. "I don't care what song it is or what it's about- just sing something!" He pointed sharply toward the other side of the room.

I cleared my throat and slowly made my way to the guitar that they had apparently set for me at the end of the long table. My confidence wasn't quite what it used to be, here lately... not since that day... I shook myself from those thoughts as I felt my eyes start to water a bit. I began to check that the guitar was tuned, of course it was... With nothing left to keep me from singing, I put all my strength into getting that guitar strumming and the first words to come out- those were always the hardest.

**"Last night I heard my own heart beating,**

**sounded like footsteps on my stairs.**

**Six months gone and I'm still reaching,**

**even though I know you're not there."**

I took a sharp breath and closed my eyes so that my audience couldn't see the tears that were forming. I probably shouldn't have chosen such a personal song, but this was the first to come to mind, not to mention the only one that I felt comfortable with, considering that it was one of the only few songs that I'd allowed myself to sing these past few months.

**"I was playing back a thousand memories, baby,**

**Thinking 'bout everything we've been through.**

**Maybe I've been going back too much lately,**

**When time stood still and I had you."**

My first brave action on the day, I opened my eyes and allowed them to see me for who I was. A crying girl who needed support and didn't care what they thought about it. Searching the walls, I found the inspiration I'd been looking for.

**"Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you would, you would if this was a movie.**

**Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out.**

**Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you could, you could if you just said you're sorry.**

**I know we could work it out somehow.**

**But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now."**

With each word, my voice and the passion in it grew stronger. I remained staring at the _Mackenzie Falls _poster in the back of the room. It was just like old times, when I'd play my guitar with only Chad as my audience. Occasionally, he'd join me in singing if he knew the song well enough, or he'd take out his guitar and play alongside me.

**"I know people change and these things happen,**

**but I remember how it was back then.**

**Wrapped up in your arms and our friends are laughing,**

**cause nothing like this ever happened to them."**

Just like with the glass of water, I was far away once more. My body was singing and strumming but my mind was back to when Chad was curled up with me on the couch, watching the premiere of _Camp Hip-Hop: The Final Dance_ with the 'Randoms' and I. During the actual movie there was a comfortable silence, but during every commercial break, all eyes were on Chad and I. Poking fun, making-up mini-skits on spot, of Chad and I, some of which actually went onto the show only focused on couples in general rather than us. Not that I'd admit it, but I actually loved those times like that- everyone that mattered to me in one room, joking with Chad and I felt like not only were they comfortable with Chad, but that he was also comfortable with them.

**"Now I'm pacing down the hall,**

**chasing down your street.**

**Flash-back to the night when you said to me,**

**'Nothing's gonna change,**

**not for me and you.'**

**Back before I knew how much I had to lose."**

I closed my eyes again for a moment, prying myself from my memories and back into reality, no matter how badly I didn't want to be there again. Yet, finding comfort in the darkness I decided to stay there for a while.

**"Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you would, you would if this was a movie.**

**Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out.**

**Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you could, you could if you just said you're sorry.**

**I know that we could work it out somehow.**

**But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now."**

I gave up on reality and closed my eyes tighter wishing this nightmare away, wishing to wake up in Chad's arms, having fallen asleep while watching _Camp Hip-Hop_. I wished to go back to when life was happy and comfortable and filled with Chad's love at every turn. But as every day passed it seemed more and more like this was life and the way things used to be was just a dream, like _we _were just a dream.

**"If you're out there,**

**If you're somewhere,**

**If you're movin' on.**

**I've been waiting for you ever since you've been gone.**

**I just want it back the way it was before.**

**And I just want to see you back at my front door."**

My voice was stronger than ever. With all of my heart I was hoping that he could hear me, over the cold, empty, never-ending space between us. I was calling for him with all of my voice, my heart, and my soul. Just having him back would be a miracle. The more I thought about it, I decided that I really didn't even need for him to take me back, as long as I could just have him back as a friend- as the Chad I knew back before all of this even happened.

**"And I say,**

**'Come back, come back, come back to me,'**

**like you would before you said 'It's not that easy,'**

**before the fight, before I locked you out,**

**But I take it all back now!"**

I did, I really did take it all back, all the words that I'd said to make him go away. If only there was some way that I could go back to that day and stop all of those words from ever coming out of my mouth in the first place I surely would- I would never say those horrible words that sent him away from me forever. I hated those horrible words.

**"Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you would, you would if this was a movie.**

**Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out.**

**Come back, come back, come back to me.**

**Like you could, you could if you just said you're sorry.**

**I know we could work it out somehow.**

**But if this was a movie, you'd be here by now."**

My voice grew softer with every verse, as I set myself back in my body and accepted reality bit by bit. The way things were, the things we'd said, the past that could never be rewritten...

**"You'd be here by now..."**

Drawing in a deep breath, I opened my eyes and found Tawn's face. She was looking at me with a one of the most caring expressions I'd ever seen her wear.

**"Is that the kind of ending you want to see now?"**

At last, my eyes were back at Chad's poster hanging on the wall a bit to the left of Tawni. For that moment I felt at ease, as if I'd just spilled the biggest secret of my life and the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

**"Baby, what about the ending?"**

Slowly I looked straight ahead to Mr. Condor at the opposite end of the conference table, and found myself being stared at like a dolphin at Water World who was supposed to be jumping through hoops. Underneath his rough expression, though, I found his eyes. In those eyes, hidden in one little shine on his right eye, I found approval.

**"I thought you'd be here by now..."**

Just as I ended the last note, I heard a throat clearing from the sideof the room just to the right of Mr. Condor. Immediately, everyone turned to find the source of this voice, except me. I couldn't bring myself to look at the owner of it, not right now...

I turned back to the left side of the table and found Nico, Tawn, and Grady sitting somewhere in the middle. Looking down the line at each one, they only confirmed what I'd thought. Grady's mouth formed the perfect 'o' shape, jaw hung open, pupils wide, eyes squinted, and his hand threatening to fly into the air at any moment. Nico's face showed no change, except that his eyes looked shocked and angry all at once, as I watched he took his hand from Tawni's and clenched them together in his lap. And then there was Tawn, as soon as my eyes reached her, hers met my own, brimming with water. Her mouth barely parted, before she closed her eyes for a moment, as she reopened them I found a single tear track glistening on her face. She rose from her chair and walked briskly past me.

As I hesitantly looked back towards Mr. Condor, I heard the emergency exit door shut to my left. Mr. Condor nodded in approval of something, then said, "I see you've made the meeting after all."

"Yes, Mr. Condor, sir, our plane just arrived. We made it to the limos on time and didn't hit much traffic." Once again, it was like I was swirling water. I had vacated myself for the moment, thinking that it could at least postpone the emergency that would surely come if my suspicions were correct.

"Welcome back, Chad."

_Thump._


	4. Almost Lover

THIS CHAPTER'S FEATURED SONG:

ALMOST LOVER - A FINE FRENZY

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**Firstly, I'd like to give some thanks to my lovely reviewers: unGRACEful, channylover9753, Ashliegh111, Geekquality, cutiepie911, and ForeverChannyx. Lots of love to you all, because you all are the reason that I am writing this chapter. Yeah, that's about all, so now- on with the show! :)**

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Your fingertips across my skin,

The palm trees swaying in the wind-

Images.

* * *

"_Sonny!_" I heard an exclaim from above me, before I felt hands all around me. A brush of warmth beneath my nose, before felt heat press upon my neck for a moment. Followed by, one gentle, warming hand wrapping tenderly around my wrist.

A soft hum of voices rang around me, but what beckoned me to open my eyes was the warmth spreading through my arm. As my eyes fluttered open and my vision un-blurred, the heat in my arm wasn't quite as great as the heat in face. There, at my side, was none other than Chad Dylan Cooper. The moment I saw him, my heart faltered, raced, and sank as, from the corner of my eye, I saw a firm nod of dismissal from Mr. Condor. Chad looked from my face, to the man who still stood at the opposite side of the room. Finally, he dropped my wrist mumbling something nonchalantly under his breath.

Within minutes, Mr. Condor had gotten the meeting back into order. I was once again sitting in my chair, swirling ice cubes around it my cup. Only now, I was not really concentrating on it, but rather occupying myself while my focus drifting between what Mr. Condor was saying and stealing glances at Chad from the corner of my eye, just to be sure that he _was _really still here and that he hadn't disappeared. My feelings could be sifted through later, if only I knew that he was still here.

"... Chad, you did a number for the _MacKenzie Falls _movie, right?" My head popped up at Mr. Condor's mention of his name- almost a reflex from these months of waiting for him, in a sheltered life where everyone took care not to have him on their magazines or their TV screens, and _never _once speaking of him, except occasionally Tawni.

"Ye- _yes, sir_," Without even looking I could tell that Chad was just as confused as I was, and knew that I hadn't missed as much of the conversation as I'd thought.

* * *

You sang me Spanish lullabies,

The sweetest sadness in your eyes,

Clever trick.

* * *

"That's great! Okay, so you will do a duet with Sonny this week, and maybe we can work you into get-appearing on their holiday special again." Yeah, that'd be nice hearing Chad sing. He'd taken a few lessons a few years back. After witnessing a brief play-skit about his singing, he'd matters into his own hands by hiring 'the world's best vocal instructor' who happened to just be a random widowed, sobered-up Hispanic man, but I'd never tell that to Chad. He even sang with an accent for the longest time, because he was told that was what made singers great where Señor came from. I smiled at the memory. "Just think: publicity for _Mackenzie Falls_, advertisement for the movie, soundtrack sales go up, more viewers for _So Random!..._"

"Are," Nico's voice faltered, "Are you _sure_ that this is the _best _idea?" He asked, giving Mr. Condor a somewhat-pleading look. I have him a look of confusion for a moment, before my attention was recaptured by Mr. Condor.

"_Chad is guest-starring on this week's So Random! and Sonny and Chad are singing a duet_," Mr. Condor shot a threatening look at the _So Random! _side of the table, but I didn't need that to be scared. A new fear overcame me from the inside out as I realized what Mr. Condor had just said. "_That's. Final._"

* * *

Goodbye, my almost lover.

Goodbye, my hopeless dream.

* * *

Okay, just a few more steps, maybe twenty more until I was safely out of the building- nineteen- until I would rush home to be snuggled, warm in my bed ignoring the choices that now faced me- eighteen- forgetting Chad long enough to remember him.

"_Sonny,_" My stomach flipped and my heartbeat raced as I reluctantly turned to face the source of the singsong voice. From the look on Chad's face, I could tell that this had just been out of habit, rather than really wanting to speak to me.

"Chad," I choked out, my heart breaking on the word.

We walked in slow silence for a while, "Mr. Condor and Marshall told me that they already have one skit that would be perfect for Chad Dylan Cooper, but that we should probably head over to the Studios so that we can start getting a sketch and its props together. I mean, we've only got two and a half days to perfect my return to the small screen." As my eyes flickered to him one more time, I noticed he was not smiling- not even a forced grin.

And so here we were right back at start. He was hiding behind his ego, as if I was some perfect stranger on the street who might actually believe it for a minute. And I was hiding behind... _everything_. For the first time, I was a fragile heart in an unsympathetic world. Here we were, so alike what we had been one day ago, one week ago, a month ago. Yet, here we were empty.

The Chad that I had come to... _like_, and appreciate and understand... he was gone. And I was the fool who had lost myself in waiting around for a person who had said goodbye, not because they were leaving, not because it was the end of something, but because it was the end of _them._

Chad was gone, it seemed.

And so was I.

* * *

Should've known you would bring me heartache,

Almost lovers always do.

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**I hope you liked it! I'm really beginning to get into writing the story. It was really hard trying to find a song for this chapter, so sorry if it didn't work too well. And (a special spoiler for those of you who actually read these authors notes) I already have the next chapter written and ready to post in the next day or so. Finally, we will know what happened with Chad and Sonny! :) Review and Alert! Love you all!**


	5. Starts With Goodbye

THIS CHAPTER'S FEAUTURED SONG:

STARTS WITH GOODBYE - CARRIE UNDERWOOD

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**So, I don't know if you've ever read any of my stories, but I've never written a flashback chapter before. I'm not sure if it has to fit perfectly with the story, like timing and all, but whatever. I didn't really write this into the story, actually this chapter was the third one that I wrote and I was just going to upload it whenever I felt it was necessary to keep the plot moving and give away the biggest mystery of the story- **_**what happened?**_

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I was sitting on my doorstep.

Hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,

But I knew I had to do it,

And you wouldn't understand.

**

* * *

**

Breathing a shaky sigh of both relief and fear, I pressed 'end' on my phone with my thumb accidentally pushing limp hand all together. As it clattered on the floor beside me, only my eyes had the energy to react, squeezing tightly shut until the noise had ceased to resound throughout the living room behind me.

There had been many nights that I had sat here, on this exact same balcony finding the same comfort, inspiration, and courage I was looking for right now. More sketches had been thought of and written in this one place than any other place I'd ever been. I remembered sitting here when I first came to California, sitting here sipping warm tea as I watched the sun go down over the horizon and contemplating the future before me. This was the place where I had watched my mom drive off into the sunset, truly on my own, alone for the first time. This was the place where I had sat, waiting for my first hair dye to be ready to be washed out. This was the place where I had told Chad Dylan Cooper that '_we need to talk_.'

* * *

So hard to see myself without him.

I felt a piece of my heart break.

But when you're standing at a crossroad,

There's a choice you've got to make.

* * *

"So, what? You're saying that you don't want to be with me anymore?" He murmured, face flickering between numbness and anger, with his eyes exposing only one emotion: hurt.

"_No_, Chad," I whined, hoping that there was some way that he could understand me. "I-" I felt my furrowed face ease as I drew in a deep sigh, "I'm just saying that maybe we should just go back to being friends for a while." There it was, the perfect sentence that I'd practiced saying many times in the half hour before he got to my house, the sentence I could never tell him the meaning behind because he could never understand.

"What, so that you don't having to feel guilty about being with someone else while I'm gone? So you don't feel like you've left any loose ends when you replace me?" He spat, showing no effort to hide the anger that was overcoming him.

"No, Chad! That's not it!" I could feel my eyebrows wrinkling again, "No one could ever replace you." I admitted softly, too soft for the adrenaline of the conversation. Once again, I searched his face for understanding, but all I found was ache: in his glistening blue eyes, in the way that his features were set, in the slight curve of his lips.

"Then why are you trying to get rid of me?" He said flatly, honestly, his eyes meeting mine with intensity for a moment, before flashing away to something below us to his right. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his pants as he shifted uncomfortably. It hurt me to see what I was doing to the both of us.

"Chad," I began, "I don't wantto do this."

"Then why are you doing it, Sonny?" His voice was flat, but I could see the anger growing inside him once again.

"Because, it has to be done." I looked at him for a long moment, slightly biting my lip to keep myself from thinking too much about where this conversation may lead. Finally, after several seconds, he seemed to have gathered himself once again.

"Okay, well, I guess this is goodbye, then." He said, meeting my eyes for the first time in minutes.

"Well," A smile tugged at the corners of my lips, satisfied that he'd finally understood. "I'll be sure to-" I began, stepping towards him.

"No," he cut me off, "We're done. This _is _goodbye." He looked me over a moment, I was too numb to control whatever emotion he found upon my face. "I'm getting on that plane tomorrow and going to New York."

"But-"

"But, nothing, Sonny. You've made your decision. And I'm making mine. If we're over, then let's not pretend like there's anything left."

"_But, there is, Chad._" I pleaded, ignoring his attempts to speak over me. "Why can't we just go back to the way things were before again? Why can't we be friends again?"

"Let's face it, Sonny. We were never friends to begin with." He looked to the floor as he brought his hands from his pockets. "_Goodbye_."

* * *

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,

I guess I'm gonna have to cry.

And let go of some things

I've learned to give to the other side.

* * *

Slowly, I felt my back slide down the hallway wall. Empty, that's the only word that can describe how I felt at that moment. I felt as if I'd had my feet kicked out from under me. _Gone_. _He was gone_. I was aware of tears welling up in my eyes as I hit the ground, yet I still felt nothing.

_This hadn't really happened. He wasn't really gone. He couldn't really be gone- I was in love with him. Didn't that mean that he had to be in love with me, too? Soon, he'd call me and tell me that he's sorry, that he wants to be friends, that he understands. _But, that's just it he wouldn't understand.

A sob echoed in the still air as I rested my forehead on my knees. Deep, quivering breaths overcame me and shook my body to the core. Wrapping my arms to enclose my legs, I searched for comfort in the feeling of holding someone for support, even if it was only myself. As I blinked, a few tears escaped the flood in my eyes and trickled down my cheek, landing with a soft _thud_ on the denim of my jeans. Breathing deeper, I struggled for control over myself, yet the more I searched for a way to escape, the more I found myself drowning in my own empty sorrow. Pity, regret, and heartbreak were now moving-in to fill the numbness. Yet, my heart was still vacant, so vacant that it hurt.

* * *

I guess it's gonna break me down,

Like falling when you're trying to fly.

It's sad but sometimes

Moving on with the rest of your life

Starts with goodbye.

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He was gathering his things, picking his jacket up from the couch, grabbing his keys from the table, placing the papers he was holding in his briefcase. The steam from my cup of hot chocolate swirled in the air before me, as I sat curled up on the couch in the prop room. I took a sip that burned my lips and stung my throat, yet filled me warmth, before looking back up at him. He seemed to be going over something in his head, eyes squinting at something in the distance. I watched him for another moment before taking another taste from my mug. He turned to look my way and my eyes flashed to the TV, catching the end of a commercial for a Blarmie. I could feel his eyes weighing heavily on me for a few moments, before his voice broke the silence of the room.

"Ah, well- you're staying here tonight?" He concluded, as I turned to look at him.

"No, Tawni's in our dressing room looking through her clothes so that she knows what all she needs to buy for the Holiday Special..." I trailed off, self-cautiously looking away from him, trying to find relief the uncomfortably personal conversation. As my gaze drifted back to him, I saw his eyebrow was raised in silent question. "We're- we're roommates now... we drove to work together..." I felt strangely embarrassed once again.

"Oh..." He muttered, eyes glancing from me, to the TV, then finally to the door. "Well, I've got to go. See you whenever." He muttered; I nodded in dismissal, before turning my attention back to my familiar cup of hot chocolate. As I swallowed another sip, my eyes flickered to the doorway where Chad stood, shifting uneasily. "Well," he was looking at the ground, "Goodbye." His eyes met mine, and for only a moment I thought I caught sight of something burning intensely inside of them. Only for a moment.

"_Goodbye, Chad._" I murmured wistfully.

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Starts with goodbye.

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**I'd like to say 'thank you' to my lovely reviewers of the last chapter, who motivated me to post this chapter sooner than I had planned**


	6. Like We Never Loved At All

THIS CHAPTER'S FEAUTURED SONG:

LIKE WE NEVER LOVED AT ALL - FAITH HILL

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**Wow. Sorry for the severe lack of updating lately, guys. I hope that you all did recognize the story even with the title-change. Basically, I just felt that even though that song was great, the new title really matches the story perfectly because the **_**entire **_**story and plot and everything **_**Starts With Goodbye**_**. So, yeah :)**

**Also, I would like to give a shout-out to the wonderful ChannyLoveForever3: reviews like that always make my day! You've no idea how much more confident that one little review has made me in this story... anyways... Onward to the story!**

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"I _still _can't believe that Miley Cyrus '_cancelled_'" Nico rolled his eyes at Mr. Condor's simple excuse as his arms fell to his side after air quoting, "Just in time for Chad to _magically _appear two days later and take her place." Tawni rolled her eyes and continued filing her nails as we sat on the sofa in the prop room. Part of me was almost surprised that she didn't make a typical Tawni comment about how she didn't even like Miley in the first place for whatever reason.

"You think he appeared _magically?_" Grady asked with a soft gasp and wide eyes.

Nico clenched his jaw and put on a tight smile at Grady before muttering something to Tawni about going to get ready for the show. He gave Tawni a gentle pat on the hand before walking towards to door and giving a half-hearted wave in my direction. Grady followed shortly after, grinning goofily and pointing in the direction of the door as a sign of his departure.

Now it was just us girls, finally I felt I could take down the poorly-concealed mask I hid behind and just be honest with myself. Tawni fidgeted, her hands tumbling over each other in no particular pattern. She shifted uneasily in her seat for a moment before quietly clearing her throat.

"So, you think you're going to be alright?" She whispered, voice faltering, as she let a comforting hand rest on my shoulder. I my eyes drifted to hers for a moment and was caught off-guard by the amount of focus she seemed to have on me. My eyes swiftly falling to the floor, I let back down the shields that were threatening to raise again.

"I don't know, Tawn." I breathed, closing my eyes. "I don't know."

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**"You never looked so good**

**As you did last night**

**Underneath the city lights."**

A mixture of instruments played from the back corner as I walked out on to the stage. The soft clicking of my heels on the tile helped to calm me into focusing purely on the song, rather than the man with slightly windswept hair standing just off stage right and the feel of his eyes upon me.

**"There walking with your friend,**

**Laughing at the moon,**

**I swear you looked right through me."**

Black suit, white shirt, eyes sparkling in the spotlight, he stepped onto the stage. My eyes roamed the doors on the walls of the stage in front of me, as I remained slowly walking in a daze towards center stage. His voice was powerful, yet sweet like honey, and resonated like wind chimes. _Those lessons were definitely money well-spent._

**"But I'm still living with your goodbye."**

I tore my eyes from studying the doors as my verse approached. Closing my eyes, I focused on my voice not quivering as it had so many times while Tawni had helped me learn the song.

**"And you're just going on with your life."**

With the microphones, I wasn't too aware of how close he was to me until I opened my eyes and found his face to be just a foot or so from my own. Close up, it seemed that the sparkle I'd seen had only been the effect of the spotlight. From where I stood, it was almost as if there was a haze over them.

**"How can you just walk on by**

**Without one tear in your eye?**

**Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?**

**Maybe that's just your way**

**Of dealing with the pain,**

**Forgetting everything between our rise and fall."**

As we passed each other, I kept my face towards the audience, forcing myself to focus on something aside from how close he was to me. I counted the steps in my head, trying to be sure that all these attempts to stop thinking weren't forcing me to mess up the simple choreography that we had thrown together. His musky cologne stirred in the air between us; the familiarity of the smell caught me off-guard, nearly throwing me not only off-track but also into his arms.

**"Like we never loved at all."**

We sang the verse together, our faces inches apart, our voices on the rise, and eyes meeting powerfully for a brief moment before we began in separate directions once again.

**"You, I hear you're doing fine**

**Seems like you're doing well**

**As far as I can tell."**

He started us off this time. Stealing a glimpse over my shoulder, I saw a look of un-showy seriousness settling in on his face as his eyes focused in on me. From even a few feet away, I caught sight of a nervous swallow at the end of the verse.

**"Time is leaving us behind**

**Another week has passed**

**And still I haven't laughed yet."**

I could feel my nose begin to tingle, and water begin to pool in my eyes as the honesty of the verse, once again, caught me off-guard. Holding my head high in an attempt to hold-back the tears, I slowly strolled back to center-stage. Turning my face gently to the side, I tried to discreetly blink away a few tears along the way.

**"So tell me what your secret is,"**

As I met Chad's eyes there was the same lonely sparkle that I'd noticed months ago in my apartment. Wishing I could comfort him, I took a step closer.

**"To letting go, letting go like you did,**

**like you did."**

Bravery finally settling in, I closed my eyes and belted out the last three words with every trace of emotion in me. Reopening my eyes, I met Chad's ocean eyes with a fiery gaze all my own.

**"How can you just walk on by**

**Without one tear in your eye?**

**Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?**

**Maybe that's just your way**

**Of dealing with the pain,**

**Forgetting everything between our rise and fall."**

The closer we got, the more emotion I could feel escape onto my face. I almost felt the hurt and accusation in the expression on my face. Similarly, I began to see various emotions cross Chad's face. As they flashed by, I only picked-up a few such as hurt and betrayal, in the midst of the many changing expressions of his face.

**"Like we never loved at all."**

We had become so close to each other that I could almost feel his voice. As we fell silent, I became aware of a few more tears trickling down my cheeks. Chad looked down at me with a helpless expression as his eyes lingered upon my wet cheeks.

**"Did you forget the magic?"**

I whispered, so taken by him that I nearly missed the microphone all-together. Taking a sharp breath, I silently hoped that I was the only one who heard the quiver in my voice.

**"Did you forget the passion?" **

He murmured with a mysterious tone, reaching out and wiping a tear from my cheek. I saw nothing but the empty sparkle his eyes and felt nothing but his gentle fingertips across my skin.

**"And did you ever miss me?"**

Gathering all the power in myself, I joined him once again. I set free all the most resonating two verse that I'd ever sung. Having dropped his hand, he moved in closer so that we were only inches apart.

**"Ever long to kiss me?"**

Out of breath and sense, I gasped slightly as I caught myself slightly leaning in almost in answer to the words he sang with me. By the look in his eyes, I knew that even if the viewers and audience hadn't caught it, someone had.

**"Maybe that's just your way**

**Of dealing with the pain,**

**Forgetting everything between our rise and fall."**

Slowly, I began to lean away from him. Finding that this helped to break the spell he had on me, I took a gentle step back, and then another.

**"Like we never loved at all!"**

From my place nearly four steps away from him, I put my heart into the last verse; he followed my suit. Between the pain in his voice, the despair on his face, and the ache of emptiness inside of me, I found myself biting my lip to fight-off any more tears. By the time that the pianist had played the last notes, I was one step of the stage and starting for my dressing room.

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**Please tell me what you think :) I don't read minds, so I have no idea what you want from the story or how you're feeling about the plot or my writing style if you don't tell me! Also, be sure to subscribe so you can keep-up with the story! I love you guys :D**


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